Saturday, September 28, 2013

Choosing to be FREE from "Being Right" ...

We all know someone who 'knows it all.' They are never wrong, always know better than anyone else, and their word is the final authority on any given subject. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it! :)
However, there is that part in all of us that, at times, may come pretty darn close to 'those people' when it comes to 'being right.' Thing is: maybe you are right. You may even have 'facts' to back you up, or maybe your knowing comes from your own personal experience. It's times like that when you feel you simply MUST convince the other person by offering data, facts, and research... but! he or she is just not buying it. You give up. You are chagrined, to say the least; maybe even angry, and your mind starts racing thinking up ways to 'get even' or 'show' that other person a thing or two!  Sometimes its easy to Let Go of... other times it isn't.
A similar situation that can be difficult to handle is when someone doesn't disagree with you; they simply put down what you say with rudeness or sarcasm. Nothing else.
Even though we think we should be at a 'spiritual level' where we can just dismiss all of this banter, it comes as a very unpleasant surprise when we find ourselves reacting in a way that makes us realize we haven't 'evolved' as much as we thought! :)
All of these ways of reactive thinking can be attributed to the scared little Ego. It wants to be 'right;' it wants to 'get even', and it wants to be recognized and craves acceptance and approval. If our ego receives that approval, then we tend to accept ourselves and believe in our self worth.' Even if we realize and recognize the metaphysical truth behind our reactions it can still, at times, be a bit of a battle. This is an important pivotal point. If we can at least recognize what is going on internally, that is truly half the battle.
The Ego, is clever, wily, and tricky...and can persuade us to take another route while arguing/discussing/debating with someone,  and we might find ourselves donning aura of holiness, smiling sweetly, and saying with false humility: "Of course, you are right"...adding just enough 'sincerity' to one's voice to show oneself most effective.
On an equal par to that is simply to stop speaking, stopping all communication. This is not giving in or giving up... it's a strategy for 'winning' ... without making any concessions or allowances.
None of these routes make us a 'winner.'... People who 'win' arguments receive a sense of satisfaction...for a short time.... but even then that temporary satisfaction can become craven, wanting, and addicting. 'Satisfaction' always pertains to that which is on the 'outside'... not one's internal true self.
Now....what if we really ARE 'wrong' about something: something we have done, said, or acted upon, knowing better but doing or saying it anyway! When we refuse to own it, claim it, or admit to it, it brings about the same obsession to be 'right' -- raising the same 'need' and obsession for justification, approval, superiority, acceptance, etc etc... 
What if someone has 'caught you' and challenges you on  this wrong doing in a very judgmental, harsh, or rude way. A common reaction is to make excuses, defend and justify yourself with a plethora of 'yeah, but's!' Now the Ego has really lost its footing! We can conjure up excuses that would convince the toughest jury that what we did or said was 'justifiable' or at least 'understandable.' but -- we still lose...and it leaves the Ego is in a quandry.
NO amount of justification or winning arguments brings happiness and or PEACE of mind... The false appearance of 'winning' leaves us feeling disconnected from Source, from Spirit, from God... whatever one wishes to label as the Divine, the Knowing within us.
None of this means one has to be passive and agree with those around us. One can still be firm and stand one's ground. But I truly believe everyone has that inner sense of when you are crossing that line and feeding that egoic craving to be 'right' at all costs.
When one IS 'wrong' about know it... you can feel it...and the only way to cut those ties to those miserable feelings that bind you is to OWN it...ADMIT to it... This is the beginning of true inner freedom. Those other feelings of hurt or even anger may linger awhile, as will those feelings of inner struggle felt when one has given up on the need to always be 'right'... I can tell you from my own 'battles' that when you are willing to give up the addiction of 'being right' and are willing to 'own' what you have done 'wrong'  it eventually DOES get easier! In its place comes a priceless, wonderful feeling of inner freedom and inner peace.  You know you have utilized your Inner Power and detached from the cause of the pain.
It's amazing how much time and energy one can spend reacting to or arguing about things that do not really matter...or that actually have nothing to do with us. 
There is a lot of merit in the old saying: "Pick your battles wisely." Perhaps it's just as wise to know when to lay down the sword and just Let It Go and Let It Be.