Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Perhaps we've taken workshops or delved into self-help books in order to learn how to 'accept ourselves.' Maybe it helped. Maybe it didn't. Sometimes we merely learned new tricks as to how to fool ourselves and others. Too often we only learned how to put on a better show...all in hopes of appearing humble, gracious, generous, and understanding when saying things like "Oh, I hear you"..."I can relate to that"..."I know exactly where you are coming from." Sometimes we are so desperate to 'reach' one another. What we are really wanting is to be totally accepted for who we are. Sometimes it can be so difficult to believe that anyone could really love or accept us 'as is'...which can cause us to 'act like' what we hope will be acceptable to others. So they will like us, approve of us, and accept us. Then perhaps we could feel 'a part of something' that would make us feel better.One may encounter people who announce: "I don't care what anybody thinks, I'll say and do exactly as I please!" The amount defiance and tough demeanor is usually in direct proportion to the need to cover up what the person is really worried about: 'I'll reject you before you can reject me'...that type of thing. The opposite of this are people who constantly drape praise and admiration on others, agreeing with everything the other person says, in hopes of gaining their approval. People can become very adept and clever with their disguises. We all can. So much so that we can not only fool others, but ourselves. But!--only to a point. We all are familiar with that little restless feeling within us -- whispering to us -- telling us that we know when we are not really being true to ourselves.
When we are not being 'our real self' we can physically feel our bodies tensing up, and our emotions starting to do flip-flops....all happening in the presence of someone we think must approve of or admire us... When we are interacting with people with whom we could care less about... we are usually completely relaxed....
It can be a little amusing--our reactions to people from 'foreign countries' who most generally speak in a way we perceive of as being 'rude.' They are simply far too blunt and should take our feelings into consideration! Trouble is, we may have developed a strong (needy?) craving for smooth, fancy, double talk that lulls us into thinking that the person who is talking to us reeeeeally likes and approves of us. Its hard to admit that we like all the b-s'ing...and what it does for our ego. When we find ourselves easily offended we say its because "we are so sensitive'...ummmhmmm...right.
Hopefully, you know that I am not advocating speaking to or treating others without kindness and respect; it never, ever makes us feel good to be mean to others regardless of how much we think they deserve it! ... We all know that. If we think we might have a bit of a challenge in the area of being true to ourselves, it might prove to be a fun game to simply 'try it out' -- be true to oneself...to our own beliefs...to our intuition and gut feelings ... and just see where the chips land! Chances are we will gain in our own self-respect and find this mirrored in the attitudes of others towards us ... and...if they don't like it...well...maybe we need to rethink about the importance we have attached to a certain people's opinions? Right? Right!
Abraham says: You have got to get to the point where you don't give a FIG about what anybody else thinks! Or--as Shakespeare put it: "Above all else, to thine own self be true, for then, surely as the night follows day, thou cans't not be false to any man."
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Abraham from "A New Beginning ll" channeled by Esther Hicks.
I believe that one of the things that keeps us from feeling more joy, more at peace, and happier with the world, in general, is the nagging feeling that we are never 'good enough'. So often we feel that we need to constantly 'try harder to be good.'
I often 'pick on' organized religion as being the root of the problem from having a common cold to world wars. As someone once said: "All wars are religious wars; the main aim proving 'god is on their side' granting the right to destroy and kill in order to prove it." Except for the religions which have started to evolve from primitive to overt control ...they stand alone at the top for being responsible for mankind not thinking he is worthy of anything and in dire need of being "saved" from his dirty, sinful, and unclean state.
One doesn't have to particularly be a 'church goer' to have accepted this erroneous teaching...which has penetrated and saturated many cultures and societal living. Religion has most often served as a platform for forwarding the idea that we 'need to better ourselves' ...which is FAR different than wanting to learn skills and types of knowledge that one enjoys and benefits from. The failure to see this difference is a failure to see why one so often believes him or herself to not being 'good enough.' Allowing our cultures or society with all their conformist rules and 'laws' that accompany it, will determine how we judge ourselves. Thinking we are never 'good enough' is the biggest stumbling block there is that prevents us from becoming self-empowered and sovereign god-creator-beings. Believing we need some god or other humans to 'save us' means we will forever be dependant upon the approval and validation for others.
Imagine how wonderfully different life would be if we could raise all of our children to believe in themselves, in their own innate goodness, in their own power to create their reality. Some parents do their best in this area. I am not implying that others do not 'teach' us... but each child needs to be taught that it is their OWN 'law of attraction' that brings good things (or not so good things) to them. And this begins with love and respect of self which can then genuinely reach out to and benefit all others. Those who love, respect, and accept themselves as an inseparable part of Source will never do any harm to another. That is probably the most important sentence in this entire article!
People who love, respect, and accept themselves do not have to criticize, harm, or demean others...even when differences between them are glaring. It is only when we lack confidence and belief in ourselves that we feel the need to strike out at others and make others look 'wrong.' This can start between two people and end up escalating to any number of countries.
This doesn't mean we are now obligated to 'come down ourselves' for not loving ourselves enough! Getting past this can be a little tough... It usually comes down to a matter of being willing to drop the FEAR we have been programmed with;...and being brave enough not to care what others think; to realize that the kind of god figure that religion portrays is non-existant and can have no power over us...unless we allow it and create it that way in our minds. And. 'free will' DOES allow us to create even that which harms us. That is part of the Source power within each and every one of us.
Ironically, New Agers, or the people who consider themselves 'spiritual' instead of 'religious' can be harder on themselves than the religionists!! Many religions provide little tricks one can use to get one off the hook...whereas if one is spiritual, one faces only oneself... and this must be done if one is to find that seemingly ever-elusive sense of inner peace. It doesn't have to be elusive. One way we can attain the joy we really want to feel is by treating ourselves and thinking of ourselves in a loving, caring way, constantly forgiving, overlooking, accepting, and allowing way...like we would hopefully do for a very little child that truly means no harm. It's a good start anyway! Although I always recommend the teachings of the SPA...I would also recommend a booke called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz...This little book, available at any book store, kindly and gently helps us to teach us how to love and accept ourselves....and to learn to contend with that inner Judge. Try it. You might like it!