Sunday, January 15, 2012

When Hurting Turns Out To Be Helpful

There are times when we all feel really someone or by some event or situation. Sometimes the sting of that pain is so upsetting that it has us convinced it will never go away...that it will continue forever. But it will eventually dissipate. What can keep those fires of pain kindled is our own determination to "never forget!"... The phrase "Lest we Forget" is a totally screwed up one. NO ONE ever has--or will ever -- 'learn' from concentrating or focusing on any kind of past pain, destruction, or disaster. It is only when we choose to take responsibility and learn from what we have experienced will we gain Insight and Freedom. This decision...this choice is the balm that heals the pain.

When something happens that causes us pain or anger... upset of any kind.... it is natural for us to want to play The Blame Game. I am not saying that whoever it was that 'done you wrong' wasn't wrong... Maybe they were. And maybe you have all kinds of proof, back up, evidence, etc etc...that the other person was/is completely at fault. I have found, however, through much life experience -- that it is actually easier for a person to be the one in the wrong... I have learned (not that I don't occasionally forget!) that life is SO much easier, so much more simple and uncomplicated to say (and mean it!) "I was wrong." "It was/is my fault."...and then take responsibility in whatever is the best way -- to rectify whatever problem I might have caused. To admit to a wrong is so freeing. "Being the one who is wronged" is far more challenging to the Ego.

Even though we could not function very well without our Egos because we need to be able to use them. They represent our Identity in our chosen incarnational roles. They are not 'bad' as such ...but oh boy, and ay yi yi -- when we allow them to get out of hand they are most harmful to us. The unharnessed and unobserved Ego is what invites painful experiences into our lives. Thus, we 'learn.'

It's very hard at times to dispense with our angry "Yeah, But's!!!" When someone says "But wouldn't you rather be happy than right"...our knee jerk reaction (in all honesty) is: "HELL no!! I'm right and I want others to know it!" After all, we were 'right!'...We can almost hear the choirs of angels singing our glorious praises and we just KNOW that the other guy is really gonna get his (or hers!) And we can hardly wait! After all --they 'deserve' to suffer and be punished. So then, for a time, our Ego is all smug and delighted...but, the bigger the Ego's meal was -- the more demanding and hungry it will become.

"There was absolutely no reason for him/her to do that to me." We love that one because it sanctifies us all the more. When someone tells you "Just let it go" ... you want to punch them (initially...) I like what Seth suggests handling these strong emotions. He suggests that one STAYS with our 'negative' emotions rather than try to suppress them (which doesn't give you license to punch anyone!) Lips Are Sealed ... Otherwise, unexpressed emotions can take some really self-endangering turns. In meditation, pretend you are in a room with two Entry and an Exit door. There is only one chair. (You don't want to get toooo comfortable!) Then, when you feel you are really tired of those self-righteous feelings --picture yourself going out the Exit door. NOW you will be more easily able to connect with Source. You may not be completely free of those negative emotions, but they WILL subside (unless you purposely CHOOSE to host them) Now here comes the part that can be difficult to heed: "I STILL must remember: I Create My Own Reality"...and this also includes WHY whatever 'wrong' came your way was something that you may not have created--but you DID _allow_ into your experience. And allowing can be a fantastically wonderful form of Creation...It simply is responding to the Law of Attraction. Faithfully.

This past month I have 'been hurt' a number of times. My emotions were in a constant state of flux. Oh you bet I went through the 'planning stages' of how I was going to get even with the 'bad guys/girls'... And there were my pity-pot times when I would cry over 'why is this happening to me' ... and the enemy lines were drawn! Mouth At Side !! I went through the usual inner battle of coming down on myself for even letting them get to me... and that only makes it worse (really important lesson here) Back to Seth's room. Finally, you just Let It Go and let the Universe message you as to what its really all about. That took a number of days.

Finally! Voila!! Surprised --it dawned on me that all this 'stuff' I have been going through was a SIGN ... Not that it meant instantaneous and continuous joy forever amen... but gradually it grew and I was able to see through my own fears for not being able to make some important decisions. And when I Let Go...and fully accepted it and stopped blaming ANYONE ... I felt absolutely delighted.

I know you may think "Yes, but my case is not that easily solved" ... but I promise and guarantee you that you will NEVER heal by hanging onto blame, getting even, and seeing yourself as a poor, piteous victim!! All that does is serve us prison bars that will keep you from healing and moving on...and seeing even BETTER things ahead.

We all are drama queens. In different ways. At different times. So what? We live. We learn. We Expand. We Move On... and in the meantime, we are finding more Inner Peace... derived from the one thing that we must do in order to attain it. Put All Blame aside and assume Self-responsibility.