Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It's "OK!" to Feel Hate!! Or As Rosanna Rosana Danna (SNL) used to say: "I'm Ok, You're OK. I'm my Own Best Friend!"

Do you remember the last time you truly felt hateful towards some one?...or perhaps a group of people. I do. Wasn't that long ago!
There are times when hatred seems to overtake our entire being. During those horrid times , we may feel like we'll never be able to feel good or at peace again. But we CAN. If we want to.
Feeling hatred is not 'wrong' ... Negative emotions of any kind does not make us 'bad.' They are a valid part of being human...and we experience them for reasons of balance and equilibrium. They are the biggest part of our built in Guidance System.
There is no such thing as remaining in a 'good mood' or dwelling in a constant immersion of 'positive emotions.' Life is made up of the Yin and the Yang... If it wouldn't be for the Darkness -- how would we recognize the Light?
Seth very wisely warned us not to attempt to be rid of, or cover up our so called negative emotions with false nice-isms... Or as Abe says: You don't slap a happy face sticker over a gas gauge that shows empty and keep driving!
If left alone, these emotions will run their course and we will feel 'normal' again. We tend to equate hatred with violence, but this is not necessarily a truth. Seth also told us it is not hatred that leads to violence... it is a sense of powerlessness that leads to violence.
People who perpetrate violence physically OR verbally... have a desperate need to control others because they do not believe in themselves... or the validity and inate goodness of their being.
Hatred is an instant reaction to FEAR. Fear, it is said, is the 'parent' of hate. When someone or some group or some action has upset our own personal little apple cart, we feel, temporarily that we have lost control... If we ALLOW whoever or whatever upsets us to keep bothering us; if we keep focusing and giving our attention to the situation; when we realize we cannot change them or the situation ... we feel powerless....this results in Fear...and this CAN lead us to violence... physically, verbally...or both.
When a person purposely tries to immediately stifle, cover up, or swallow all of their feelings / emotions; and believes he has 'no right' to 'negative emotions' ... those emotions will still make themselves known! Refusing to recognize the validity of ANY of our emotions and trying to bury them deep within us will makes them even stronger. Sooner or later they WILL surface. They will harm us -- by manifesting as sickness, either mental or physical. Guilt over one's 'negative emotions' may also result in one's emotional dam overflowing -- and again -- ill health, mental or physical, will result. OR it can affect what one materially manifests in life. They will appear as the unwanted consequences of our 'punishing ourselves' for not being 'good enough.'
Negative emotions (or GOOD emotions!) of any kind are basically trying to 'tell us something.' In order to find out what that 'something' is ... it requires putting aside our 'wanting to control,' easily frightened or offended, fragile, demanding Ego. It also requires abandoning the need to make 'others' wrong. This doesn't mean that those 'others' haven't been 'wrong' and maybe they ARE complete jerks...(or worse!) but NOTHING provides a stronger glue that binds us to those self-damaging negative emotions as does BLAME.
Sometimes people forget that Blame has the potential for causing more self-inflicted damage to ourselves than do the comparitively short bouts with hate, jealousy, anger, verbal or even physical spats, etc etc etc... because Blame and Resentment can be found to stay with people for years...and years... You will find these traits embedded within people who always appear to be very 'positive' or cheery, or long suffering martyrs, etc etc etc ...
Both my daughter and I found ourselves really hating a certain 'group of people'... and our wish was to have them beamed up into outer space to endlessly float there... Personally I thought we were being more than generous. We KNEW the feelings we had would subside on their own... we wanted them to... That is basic to any kind of healing! BUT we did not try to slap a happy face sticker on the situation...or say "I don't REALLY feel that way..." ...cuz oh YES, we did!! The trick here is about having bare-faced self-honesty... and it helps so so so much to self-realize that it doesn't FEEL GOOD to hate.... regardless of how 'justified' we think our feelings might be.
I have known only several people who seemed to spend their entire lives being angry, resentful, hating others, and constantly blaming. Victims of the worst kind. One died early in life...the others punished themselves by living long, unhappy, exceedingly miserable lives. Even when a 'wrong' is done to us and happens!... we cannot let those suckers WIN by keeping us in a perpetual state of hate or blame. It hardly hurts them and it devastates us!!.
I do believe that, even though its ok, normal, fine, etc, to experience negative emotions...that we are capable of lessening the intensity of their duration. I do also believe that we are capable of learning to detach more quickly from unpleasant to 'bad' situations. This doesn't mean to 'shut down' or become some sort of a stoic. But to expand our consciousness to the point where we can 'see' and have our experiences in life with a much broader, more enlightened perspective. Even though most of us agree that we DO create our own reality...this doesn't mean trying to over-analyze everything from the standpoint of "what did I do wrong? what did I do to create this?" A lighter attitude of 'OK...I'm willing to see what I need to see, and learn what I need to learn'... __and mean it!__ Then Let It Go and move on! Because blaming oneself is just as self-damaging as blaming others. It keeps us stuck in the muck.
Someone once said: "It's not that we have so much more to learn... as there is more UN-learning that we need to do" ... dropping some of those old dogmatic ideas and beliefs that keep us down... Instead we must determine to allow ourselves to become more of the self-empowered creators that we really are. Seth said: "You take it all too seriously." We have got to stop living in FEAR... As the P's always say: "Everything we experience comes from one of two sources ... one is Love and the other is Fear."
Trust. Trust. Trust.... We just gotta do it! Nerd

People who sit around and wait for the 'world to end' so things can be 'better' are going to get very sore butts.