Sunday, August 30, 2009

A New Dawn: Accepting Being Good Enough

I think this is an unusually beautiful picture of the dawn...Just imagine standing there next to the lighthouse -- and taking in all that awesome wonder.
Sometimes we have inner revelations that can be just as powerful as the ones we are fortunate enough to witness outside of ourselves.
Many of us, at times, have a tendency to coerce ourselves into 'seeing things the way we think we should (or are supposed to) see things' ... I am not meaning 'positive thinking or optimism' ... but the kind of pretense that makes our Inner Being say: "Would you just get real here and not be afraid to see things for what they really are... and, for corn's sake, stop trying to act like you are obligated to always think nice thoughts or see it the way you think you 'should' in order to be a 'good person.' " Know what I mean?
I am writing this article because of what I have experienced--and hopefully learned from! Nerd --and, perhaps some of you might be able to relate. Learning and relearning. It's what we do. Even though we might have successfully recovered from the fear and guilt conditioning instilled in us by religion (in my case--many different religions Confused )... we still may find bits and pieces of that old thinking still sticking to us. Kinda like a piece of Velcro that accumulates those little pieces of lint and fuzz, etc...
Usually, when we find ourselves in some kind of an emotional mess, it came about as the result of having reactivated some of those old self-damaging beliefs that formerly caused us much grief, worry, or concern. We are wise when we choose to 'see' these patterns. Flower
Many of us (I am in total awe of those of you who have overcome this problem!) still have a habit of thinking "I've got to do better and work harder because I'm not-good-enough".... Even though we may have _intellectually overcome_ the religious dogma that convinced us we were sinful creatures in need of saving, constant admonishing, and forever deserving of punishment -- emotionally we find those beliefs are like the lint and fuzz on the Velcro, AND we STILL find ourselves trying to please and appease the Old God...the old God that punishes us for disappointing 'him.' If we like to admit it or not -- we inwardly know the reason we believe we are 'not good enough' -- is based on fear. The belief in that 'old God concept' is at the very deepest root of it 'enlightened' as we we like to think we are! Rolling Eyes
Equal to the fear-based belief that human beings are 'by nature bad and prone to sin' - this belief goes hand in hand with the idea that life itself is _meant_ to be difficult, that we are meant to suffer; and the reason we are on Earth is a test that includes suffering and endurance...then we die and hopefully go to heaven... IF... we've been 'good enough.' Flower
Ironically, THIS type of belief system results in turning us into control freaks -- people who simply HAVE to be right, who must be in total control of their lives; those who are always ones who have been wronged, people obsessed with blaming others -- all the while having to bear in mind we must not blame God because he might get pissed and cause even more bad things to happen to us. Lips Are Sealed ... The results from the old beliefs are: anger or defeat or both--both spring from fear. When you blend anger and defeat the result is Depression... and heaven only knows...there's enough of THAT going around.
The foremost characteristic of depression is a sense of powerlessness. Seth told us that violence, physical or emotional, is the result of DIS-allowing our natural feelings of hatred, anger, disgust, etc.. Religion taught us we were WRONG for just plain having these feelings!... So when these negative feelings are continuously STIFLED within us -- rather than allowing them to 'just be'...the dam will eventually burst and overflow and violence is the result.
This is one of the reasons that "political correctness" has, IMO, made things worse...not better. Seth (nor I~! :) advocate we should be physically ACTING UPON our so called negative feelings... but to recognize that they, also, are 'normal and natural' and are 'trying to tell us something. Flower
Religion has taught us to disregard and mistrust our Intuition, our Inner Feelings -- even though the purpose of ALL of our feelings is to help us realign with Source. Once we stop beating ourselves up for simply experiencing negative feelings and just allow them to be, to flow...and stop condemning ourselves for having them, they will dissapate SO much more quickly... allowing us to realign more quickly with what FEELS GOOD to us.
We have way too many built in Fear Filters through which we view the world... although we may not acknowledge them as such. We get so used to it, we don't even recognize them as Fear-based beliefs. Therefore, we are continuoulsly saying to ourselves: "I shouldn't do that, or say that, or think that, or be that..." constantly reinforcing within ourselves that we better strive to be 'good enough' or God's gonna make us pay for it one way or another! If we continue to BELIEVE we are 'bad' --the more the Law of Attraction will provide 'bad' things for us to do --and then regret and feel guilty about. Whether or not we are Catholic, many of us are constantly present in the Confessional of a judgmental God; mentally reciting all the 'wrong and bad' things we keep doing. It gets to be a wearisome, hopeless, vicious circle.
Is it as simple as just telling ourselves "I _AM_ good enough" ?? Actually, I think it is (now stop thinking of examples that have NOTHING to do with YOU!) IF we are willing to BELIEVE it... We are all free to change our beliefs. At any time. Believe it or not! Nerd
An example: We betray our Real Self when we force ourselves to behave or talk in a way to others that goes against our Inner Feelings and Intuition. ..or by being "false" because we feel it will 'make us better people' by keeping the peace, flattering and enabling the other person, and just 'going along with them.' That is the ultimate in self-betrayal. It's not our business to "save" or convince anyone else of OUR opinions... but it IS our business to stay true to ourselves by gently but firmly not agreeing with what you observe is damaging the other person. We don't have the 'right' to purposely hurt or offend anyone. Sometimes the best thing to say is absolutely nothing. Just remain silent. Silence can be very effective.
I had a very challenging learning experience this past week that led me to see how I was trying to be "nice and supportive" (you know!--'good enough') when I should have been silent and listened to my own Inner Feelings and Intuition.
My 'teacher' was someone who has no belief whatsoever in creating her own reality -- but sees herself as a victim who desparately needs undeserved sympathy from anyone willing to listen to her stories -- always based on everyone else being at fault. My "lesson" came as the result of my OWN (not hers!) "false seeing." When I realized and had to _truly see_ that my fear-based motivation manifested as: I "need to" or "should" or "had to be nice and supportive, sympathetic, and even empathic" even when it felt so wrong to me... I finally woke up! My reactions to her did not come from "goodness" on my part but from FEAR of 'not being good enough person, kind enough, understanding enough, etc' -
The point here? I believe we've got to be willing to Slow Down. Buddhism calls it Being Mindful....and listen to that still small voice within us. It also means taking a determined stance to ignore those harmful old beliefs that we are not good enough. How different this world would be if we all would have been taught that we ARE good, self empowered beings... rather than have accepted what religion taught us. I know that in my own example that I shared with you ... had I not reverted to that 'not good enough belief' ... and been true to my own small voice, my own intuition, I would have saved myself from this 'teacher's' betrayal and judgment ... all she was doing was reflecting back to me that I was betraying and not beingt true to myself.
I started in realizing that the overwhelming majority of all my friends DO claim responsibility for their lives and do not play the role of 'victim' and are willing to look within themselves to see the beliefs that are causing their dilemmas. Even they don't always 'understand' why certain things happen. So, by the same token, I also have to give myself credit for their genuine goodness as something that is also being reflected. That is a true reason for JOY. I am grateful for this.
Each one of us are living and learning, sometimes making choices that result in having pain or grief... but the sooner we accept the Universal Law and the belief that we do indeed create our own reality, the sooner we will expect that feeling of FREEDOM that comes with it. It isn't really necessary to understand it all right now...but someday we will... When we do not understand the reasons, I think it could be a good time to start using more "Faith and Trust" on our pathways. Flower
Just IMAGINE how awesome that collective Inner Dawn could be if we all chose to believe we are GOOD ENOUGH. Wow....