Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Being Willing To Let Go of we want to?

I am not real sure about how much that cute picture will relate to this article...but I think I can make it 'fit.' Nerd Actually, I think it will work pretty well.
We don't always want to let go of our problems. Like the kitten--we cry WAIT...I'll fix it...but maybe 'later'...not right now.
One of the memorable scenes out of any movie I"ve ever seen was done by Robin Williams in "Moscow on The Hudson" in which he painfully explains that he doesn't want to let go of his misery. "It is part of me. It is familiar to me. It is home to me. I know every inch of it...I take comfort in it" etc, and without it, he would be lost and vulnerable.
We have a tendency to develop a sort of co-dependant relationship with some of our problems. It took me years to stop fostering certain negative daydreams in which, I, naturally, was always the misunderstood and unappreciated victim. I would especially do this at bedtime. Many a tear fell on my pillow (sounds like a C & W song, eh?) but that did not exclude the daytime when I had a moment or two to 'stop and think' about it!
Repetitive negative daydreams or holding a problem in the foreground of one's mind is more 'habit' than anything else. Our minds are SO computer like...much more so than we realize, and unless we do occasional mind-checks, its easy to get swept away by how we have actually programmed our minds to respond.
What I am loosely calling 'problems' means any situation in our lives that we see as giving us pain, grief, worry, stress: be it circumstances or relationships.
Do we hang onto our problems on purpose? Part of the time, yes...some of the time, no. Some people seem to form an 'identity' that is centered around certain of their problems. Enters Here: The Law of Attraction. What we focus on...we get more of. The part of the mind that is easily programmed is rooted in the frightened ego. It demands constant attention or reassurance. Unfortunately, we tend to believe the part of the ego that we ourselves have unconsciously trained!--and then we end up believing: 'this is who I am...this is what happened to me...this is how I always react...this is 'just me.'... This is what Buddhism refers to as Attachment. What we are attached to (negative OR postive) is what we mistakenly believe we are. Being willing to give up our problems means being willing to give up that kind of thinking about oneself ...AND...know and believe it can be done.
Sometimes we would rather stay attached to a 'bad memory'-- thinking "it is the only way I can hold on to that person," which is a false sense of closeness. Attachment wears many masks.
The mind will eventually develop a craving (addiction) for certain misery-laden emotions and being willing to Let Them Go seems like 'betrayal.' It's a bit like alcohol. Nobody with normal, functioning taste buds LIKES the initial taste of alcohol,,,but one can coerce the self into 'liking it' by constant repetition and determination... Sometimes, sadly, that 'acquired taste' takes one over.
Some people believe their problems and stories make them interesting to others. They like the attention they get when others are 'helping' them. The 'helpers' get their dividends, too.
Dwelling on ANY kind of a problem or 'bad' situation--makes it worse. It eventually becomes a mind-set (or system of beliefs)...What we keep repeating to ourselves even in thought... becomes a 'belief.' And it IS done, unto us, according to our beliefs... like it or not.
I recognize, in myself, how I have a tendency to do this with money. And even with the so called logical or realistic facts or 'yeah but's' I could muster about a financial situation -- it will only ADD to my 'problem.' Again, ever present LOA at work.
Facing reality is NOT always the best idea if one takes the idea that 'nothing can be done about it.' ... Whenever we say 'that's the way it is' or I can't help it and there is nothing I can do' all w e do is reinforce it and make it worse. This is attachment to a it or not.
Accepting what is, or 'making peace with what is' -- is different in that one can look at 'what is' as something one has manifested...either deliberately or unconsciousnly. Accepting what is, in the moment, doesn't imply I'm Gonna Hang Onto It Forever! .... It means 'owning it', accepting what you have helped to create, not resisting it, giving up the blame, and truly wanting to get back in alignment with who you really are. The only thing that holds ANY manifestation into place, whether it be an illness, a financial problem, a relationship, any kind of situation -- is the unchallenged, deeply accepted BELIEF that "The PROBLEM IS THERE and Will Stay There forever and ever, amen...." Hanging onto blame is another form of attachment.
I know it isn't always easy to UNattach oneself from any kind of 'realistic problem.' I can honestly say, in my own case, that if would determine (choose!) to adjust my thinking, be willing to accept new and better beliefs, and ALLOW the universe to help me... I could solve any number of 'problems.' This would require me to quit identifying with the problem just because 'the facts' support it.
It's easy for us to be spiritual on an intellectual level... but as Lazarus would tell us... Choosing and implementing new beliefs require Faith and Trust. He described Having Faith and Trust as l walking off the edge of a cliff in the dark... believing and knowing you will be supported. Seth said to us we will always 'land on a pillow'... we just have to believe it, then recognize it.
I believe this is something we all need to work on...but hey!--I see us making SO much progress!-- by leaps and bounds. So what if we fall down occasionally~! That's when the learning takes place... And besides, It's SUCH a good feeling to get back up again!! Nice to have the pillow there, too~! Nerd